We all have mental “switches” that determine our actions, but they can be difficult to explain. I’ll do my best to articulate the concept here.
There are some actions I simply will not take. I have “switches” turned off for them. For example, the thought of murdering someone is a non-negotiable. It’s an internal boundary I would never cross. The same goes for many types of drugs, and I would never consider moving to the North Pole. For these issues, I don’t have to fight an urge; the switch is simply off. I believe I have more switches off than on.
But for other challenges, I’m still looking for the switch. I’ve lost 30 pounds this year, but it’s a constant struggle. I track calories, meal prep, and fight hunger daily. I’d love pizza and pasta but I’m tired of eating so much chicken breast on a modified-PSMF program. The switch hasn’t flipped. It’s the same with my music career—practicing is a slog. I have to force myself to do it, to learn new things instead of staying comfortable.
In late 2023, I read a book called Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Drinking. After reading similar books in the past, I started Dry January 2024 expecting the usual struggle. But this was different. The book somehow flipped a switch for me. I went until mid-March, a stretch I hadn’t done since high school. Then I did another 11-week stint in the fall. It was genuinely easy. I am currently in the middle of a new Dry January and have no inclination to start drinking again. The switch was flipped.
This experience led me to a new theory. A friend is trying to quit smoking but always fails after a few days. She white-knuckles it through stress and social situations, but she can’t maintain it. I believe she hasn’t found her switch yet, and I’ve tried to explain it to her, but she looks at me like I have two heads.
I don’t know if there’s a specific process to find these switches, but I have started to examine my life through this lens. Is there a switch for this? How can I find it?
Perhaps when we are trying to start or stop something, our time is better spent looking internally for that mental switch. You’ll know it when you find it.
Update: Now down 50 pounds – woot!
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